What kind of help do you need?

Every family has its own special needs and child care requirements. Does your family need a nanny who lives with you and shares your home? Would you prefer a nanny who lives out? Do you want full-time child care help, or does your schedule or budget dictate the need for a part-time nanny? Do you expect the person who works in your home to take care of your child/children and also clean the house?

Before you even begin to look for a nanny, make sure you have realistic expectations about in-home child care. A nanny is not going to come into your household, wave a magic wand and make everything perfect. The nanny will not be a substitute parent who not only takes care of the children, but also does all the housekeeping, cooking, shopping and chores.

Keep in mind that a nanny's primary responsibility is child care; the nanny may or may not be willing to do light housekeeping. As much as you would like to have someone clean your house and look after your children and your family, it will be the exception if you find one person who can and will do both jobs well.

You must develop a list of priorities to help you choose the best nanny for your family. What qualities are important to you? Flexibility? Enthusiasm? Independence? A good sense of humor? Do you want someone young and energetic who actively plays with your children? Would you prefer someone older with more life experience?

How much experience and/or education is important to you in the nanny who will care for your children? Be clear about what specific skills your nanny must have. Does the nanny need to be able to drive a car, cook, help with homework, care for a premature infant? Should the nanny know first aid and CPR?

One person may not fulfill all of your criteria, but by considering your priorities, you will have an idea of the nanny best suited for your unique situation. Be aware that your family's needs are likely to change as your children mature. The nanny you want now may be quite different from the one you'll want a year from now.

How do you interview a nanny?

Interviewing a nanny is extremely important, and many potential problems in the employer/employee relationship can be avoided if the interview is properly conducted. If you only learn two things about interviewing let them be these: 1) depend on your intuition; and 2) interview twice before hiring.

Be prepared to ask the right questions to tune into your feelings, since feelings are usually a good indicator in choosing the right nanny. Although you need to know about experience, training, background, specialized knowledge, driving record, etc., the more personalized questions will reflect your own priorities and be key to a successful match. "What if" questions are often helpful.

When describing family expectations, be specific about duties, hours, salary, time off, etc.

Seeing and hearing the candidate's reaction can provide valuable clues. Observe the nanny with your children. How do they interact? Is the nanny quiet or loud, shy or outgoing? Do the children like the nanny?

Carefully weigh all information, double-check references (even if they come from an agency) and interview the candidate(s) you like a second time. Listen to your intuition and remember that this person will be a part of your private life. Is this the person you want in your home working with your children

How do you maintain a good nanny/family relationship?

A good working relationship starts with fair terms of employment, benefits and incentives, and a work agreement that defines your and the nanny's expectations about duties, wages, hours and working conditions. The International Nanny Association has a Family and Nanny Agreement, available for purchase. Most agreements change over time; you should set a target date for reviewing your arrangement with the nanny.

Communication is key to fostering a good relationship with your nanny. Take a few minutes each day to talk with your nanny and ask the nanny to keep a daily log to track events. Listen to the nanny. Deal with any problems as they occur, before they get out of hand. Keep the lines of communication open, and, above all, express your appreciation often.